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Chris Ewan | |||||||||||||
A
gritty defender traditionally found on the right hand side of the
Oatlands back four. Not known for his technical abilities but his
marking, tackling and ability in the air suggests he could play anywhere
across the back. His endless energy and enthusiasm makes him an absolute
menace for any attacker. |
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| Tell us a bit about yourself Chris | ||||||||||||||
Professionally
I'm an elegant full back, equally as comfortable with my right foot
as I am with my left, I like to think of myself as the Jamie Carragher
of Oatlands FC, versatile and dependable and everyone knows he's brilliant
but won't say so in public. My specialty is my throw ins, Although
the ref often blows his whistle and gives the ball to the opposition,
apparently you have to keep both feet on the ground and release the
ball before it passes your head?? I swear the refs make up the rules
as they go along, clearly jealous of my fine technique. I live in the part of East Weybridge more commonly known as Hersham with my lady and our cat. 'Mental note for all visitors' don't touch the cat or look at her directly in the eyes, she's f*cking lethal. I am 9125 days old and I'd probably say I was more of a breast then a leg man. |
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| This season you gained the name "Ikea Ewan", what do you have to say about this? | ||||||||||||||
| Never been, never going to go. You bunch of b*stards. | ||||||||||||||
| Please tell us 3 fascinating facts that everyone should know? | ||||||||||||||
1
- If I were an international footballer I would be eligible to play for England, Ireland, Scotland and Poland. I'd probably get a game for Scotland if I turned up at Hamden with my boots, I'm that good (or bad) 2 - I'm a literary award winner - I wrote a novel and Michael Aspel presented me with a Frisbee for my efforts. I was 6. 3 - I only have 3 fingers on my right hand (contrary to popular belief, I do NOT have 3 testicles) |
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| You're a bit of a James Bond fan, what are the top 3 Bond films? | ||||||||||||||
Great
question, I can see you've done your homework. It would have to be:
1 - Live and Let Die (the crocodile scene is Bond at his best) 2 - Dr No (he had metal hands for goodness sake!, still scares me) 3 - Goldeneye (also a very good computer game that I never quite managed to master) I'd
have to seriously consider it if they asked me to be the new James |
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| I hear you recently have taken up golf, how's that been going? | ||||||||||||||
Similar
to footy really, I spend a lot of time chasing the white ball but
never seem to find it. I'd be brilliant if you could pick the ball
up and throw it, I get lots of practice taking the throw ins for Oatlands.
I'm good at that. Really, really good! |
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| If we opened your CD player now, what CD would we find? | ||||||||||||||
Why,
what have you heard? It's not true whatever it is. Someone must have
stolen my car and left the Busted CD in there. It's not mine. Seriously
though, if you opened it right now you would find the new Kelis CD,
she gets her t*ts out on the cover you know, wicked!! If I'm honest
that's probably why I bought it. Hope Karen isn't reading this. |
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All
interviewee's all fully briefed on what the above can do to their social
standing