Two words, OFC legend. Jordy has been with OFC since day one and was one of the founder members of the club, when he's on the pitch; he's normally up front or on the right side of midfield and never fails to give 100% for the cause. Work, traveling and more recently injury have restricted his appearances, but he's one of those players who seems to score every time he plays and as the statistics will show, his goals to games ratio is a goal every other game. As well as being a great finisher, Jordy has also been known to be a very aggressive player, both physically and verbally and certainly has his fair share of yellow and the occasional red cards to go with his goals. Off the pitch Jordy is well known for the wide array of colourful and entertaining phrases that he brings to the club and to the pub. If you want to find him, try the pubs in Weybridge, (Queens, Flintgate, Sullivans etc) alternatively you could give Eden Cars a call on 830830 and see where Ahmed dropped him off, or is picking him up from. Read on for a small and colourful insight into the life of Mr Mark Jordan…

I was born in Scotland and moved down here when I was 3, apparently had a sweaty sock accent but lost it pretty quickly which was for the best I think. I lived in Weybridge until 2004 when I moved to live in the hood which others may know as Addlestone before traveling the Southern hemisphere with Oatlands' shortest ever playing career of 4 minutes, Mr Benjamin Shubrook (had to get that in, sorry d**k face).

Before deciding to sell houses instead of playing professional football, I could have played for international football for Scotland or England

There really wasn't much to it, I had been out one night and we just got smashed on cocktails, I ran up some metal stairs tripped over and the step went through it, giving me 2 half pieces of bone instead of one normal one (still went in for a drink but problem was I had to slide down the banister on the way out and I think that didn't help when I ended up on the floor) main thing is it's given people something to laugh about!

Le Tiss, Le Tiss, Matt Matt Le Tiss, he gets the ball takes the piss, Matt Matt Le Tiss.    Quality player; never ran much as he didn't have to, and that's cool... and he pulled that bird out of home and away.

Right now you would find Thomas the Tank Engine as my nephew was watching it at the weekend. Not telling you what else as I'm not sure if my mum knows this website.

“Jordeeeeeep” A taxi driver that turned up at the click of a finger and took you to lap dancing clubs.

Jesus that's harsh!   Ok, in no particular order.....  

1) Putting my Elise through Paul Adams garage (bloody yank left it in gear)

2) Putting a Hungarian cyclist through my windscreen this year (and no it wasn't Goulash) 

3) Hitting a car and going trough a wall, but this time I was a passenger and my brother was driving. Come to think of it, I don't think I was at fault for any of them, sure others would disagree though!

Well Mushtaq was a legend as I didn't know him, but on my birthday a few years ago he picked me up and wouldn't stop shouting "oh Jordan you have lovely friends and happy birthday" kind of went from there really but the true legend at present has to be Ahmed, honestly it seems no matter where I am or at what time he always seems to arrive (I think that's where my super hero idea comes from).

"..yeah clearing Flingate now rog", "..One Nine pick up queens, heading back Addlestone innit"

Any moment in an OFC shirt is wicked but playing last weekend after 2 years out was pretty special.

To anyone that reads this just a word of advice really, if you are in a cab going home drunk and you have a driver that has one of those little paper hats on (you know the one's I mean) don't try and sit on his lap and take his hat off, they get really funny about it for some reason and more often than not you will find yourself with a long walk home.