Now in his second season for the mighty OFC, our second resident Northerner, Gravy (as he's best known) has now firmly established himself as a first choice striker for the club and is currently fighting it out with Jack for the golden boot this year. Stew is a perfect example of a team player and when he's not scoring goals, he'll spend the other 89 minutes of a game endlessly running and defending from the front. Although not physically a massive player he's as gritty and aggressive as they come and the only way to get him off the pitch in a game through injury would be to tackle him so badly that his limbs were hanging on by the skin and ligaments. Another outstanding characteristic of gravy is the amount of times that he has to go back for a through ball or pass that's hit him on the heel. Off the pitch, he can be found maintaining the roofing on very old and very expensive houses or stalking a lake for Carp. He's now living at OFC HQ with Beater and can be found on Fridays and Saturdays drinking this brownish, flat and tepid drink from the dusty taps at the pubs called ale. Read on for a translated profile…

Well I'm 20 years old, born and bred in Grimsby . Love football fishing and drinking. Well into my music, going to gigs and festivals all year round and then one day I got abducted and ended up in a strange part of the world otherwise known as the South of England.

Rumour has it you were involved with the Army at one point, tell us a bit about that...

It wasn't the army; it was the MARINES thank you very much!! Sir yes sir and all that.. I joined the marines after leaving school and doing a year at college on a uniformed services course. Things didn't work out for me in there unfortunately and I couldn't bring myself to sign on the dotted line for 4 years without a get-out clause, so that was then end of that. The thrashings we received on a daily basis I'm sure will stand me in good stead for year's to come.

You're a thatcher by trade, how did you get into that?

My uncle was the link here, he's good mates with my boss now and he was looking to take someone on around the time I had come out of the forces. I was working with my dad at the time and felt myself getting drawn to the Grimsby fish factory (Bluecrest) known to the locals as the “bluedeath” as it sucks in anyone who needs some good money, but never lets you out, so I took on the chance to become a thatcher and get out of sunny Grimsby to show you southern fairies how to do some proper work!!

Curry sauce, ketchup, mayonnaise or gravy with your chips and why?

No contest, it has to be gravy every time because “ooooooooohh northern boys luv graavy!!” Although I am yet to find a chip shop that serves it “daaan ere in da saafff, know wot I mean geez.” Also, what's with the no English chip shops, I mean don't get me on a rant but I am also yet to find an English serving chip shop. Enough said!!!

If you were a super hero, what would be your name and what would be your powers?

I would have to be called NORTHEN MONKEY that was as big as King Kong (in all departments) that fought off baddies and immigrants with huge bananas to make the beautiful England a better place!!

I see you have a rather large tattoo on your leg, what's the significance of that?

It's just a little one at the top of my leg. As I already said I'm a huge carp angler so wanted to get something that resembled me. Sad I know, but that's why I have a huge carp on the top of my leg where it doesn't need to be seen. As all the art work is done in the family, I have more tattoos and lots more ideas to play with.

Greatest moment in an OFC shirt?

Tough one, I've got 3 that stand out really,

1.Scoring on my debut

2. When we beat the premiership opponents Hambledon in the cup

3. Scoring in front of mum and dad after they made the long trip from the Mighty North to watch the awesome OFC romp to victory against Merrow.

There is life past Watford …

Who is your footballing idol and why?

I would say it would have to be Eric “The King” Cantona, even though he was French and he did move to the scum (Man United), the man was awesome.

If you had access to a snipers rifle, which famous person would you like to take out with it and why?

It would have to be Graham Norton coz I can't stand the little fu………………

A 35lb 12oz Mirror Carp and a 33lb 7oz Common Carp.