Stephen Sweeting has been involved in the centre of the OFC midfield over the past 4 years, unfortunately his previous occupation of estate agency has meant that over the past few seasons his appearances, and at times fitness have been limited, but his ability has never in doubt. However with a new job and missus in tow, this year should be his best in an Oatlands shirt.

Pod (as he's best known) is not the most physical player we have, but on his day, he runs the OFC midfield. His three main strengths are his vision, inventiveness and calmness on the ball; he's also pretty skillful as well. Very often when the team plays well he is at the centre of things, whether its simply getting the ball, trapping it and then moving it on to the next OFC player or a clever through ball to split a defence and put our strikers through.

Off the pitch there is no doubt he is the bad boy of the team; he's been barred from most pubs in Weybridge or Addlestone at one time or another, had a run in with a stag beetle, been intimate behind the Weybridge Tileshop and even knows a girl called Denzil.

Interesting question which I think is best answered by you, as I'm sure you wouldn't exaggerate at all in your assessment.

I used to live next door to Cliff Thorburn – the first professional snooker player to score a live televised 147. He was also the first to get banned from the sport for cocaine abuse – my hero.

Hmmmm, often get asked this one. It's because when my mum was pregnant with me, my Grandad thought I looked like a pee in a pod, and it has stuck ever since.

Zinedine Zidane or Glenn Hoddle – not the fastest or fittest players, but ones that can always pick a pass.

French bloke (Zidane lookalike) who played at a few five a side tournaments we entered (do not remember the name of tournaments). I remember someone pointing out how good he was and thinking ‘nah, utter toilet', anyway, we played them in the next game and with his first play he proceeded to take it round our entire team and score, and continued to do so. Afterwards I agreed he was quite good.

Montgomery Sanchez – nuclear power

Zidane – loved watching him play. So graceful in possession and always in control. Oh, and double hard as well.

CD's.

Scoring against University of Surrey away in the season before last. It was a 25 yard screamer off the outside of the laces, one of those when it leaves your boot you know it's in! Not even Paul Robinson could have stopped it.

Scarface – Pacino at his best, and lots of Columbian disco powder.

Jaws – Have to say it is the only film to have scarred me for life. Always crap it when out of my depth, even in a swimming pool !!!! Cool music.

Usual suspects – Just an all round cool film.

Errrrrr can't ever recall spending a night at Staines police station on new years eve for being drunk and disorderly no…..

Are you a cock……yes you are!