HARPS...DOM...NIGEL...FURNO...CHRIS E...JACK (1)..SUS...MIKE...ROB H...JARV...DJIMI

Where to start?

The game was played at Abbeylands, it was cold and we could only draw 11 players out of a squad of 30. This week's opposition; AFC Chilworth, who beat us 2-0 at their place earlier in the season when we failed to take some glorious chances and conceded 2 seriously poor goals.

Our preparation for this game wasn't exactly brilliant. Djimi turned up shaking like a shitting dog after the previous night antics and Chris Ewan spent his time in the changing room trying piece together the previous night. The manager was away and we didn't have a referee or any subs.

On a positive note, it was a debut for Mike Taylor in midfield and Chris “Cafu” Ewan made a return after a long period out of the team. We nominated Jordy to referee the game despite the fact he's the sort of player more likely to be receiving the red cards rather than handing them out.

This week's team consisted of Barry Harps in goal, Nigel, Chris Ewan, Furno and Dom at the back. Jack, Mike, Sus and Rob Hunter in midfield. Djimi and Jarv up front.

The opening 30 seconds of the game summed it all up really as both teams made clumsy efforts to get a rock solid ball under control on a rock solid pitch and there were miss-kicks, air shots and a seriously low standard of football all round. We could probably claim to have made the better start though as Chilworth simply didn't turn up for the first ten minutes.

We promptly punished Chilworth for there slack start and total chaos in the penalty box led to Jack bundling the ball over the line for his first for the club and the first goal of the game. A good start to the game but I lose count of the number of games in which we have taken the lead this year.

It was very encouraging to see our new signing; Mike put himself all over the place and made life very difficult for the opposition midfield. Chris Ewan also started very brightly as well and made a few of those famous and sorely missed Cafu-like over lapping runs from the right hand side of our back four.

Chilworth could have been back on level terms when a thunderous Tim Furnival diving header cannoned back off our post, much to his and everyone else's relief. He quickly redeemed by bravely using his face to take the full force of a Chilworth shot moments later.

We had further opportunities to extend the lead. Jim Beckram broke clean through but dragged the ball wide with his left foot from close range and their keeper made an absolutely outstanding save from an equally outstanding Jarv free kick. We also pressed Chilworth and forced a series of corners that proved difficult to deal with but ultimately led to nothing.

Chilworth then got an equalizer which I didn't see because I was on the phone to 2-Gun telling him how we were 1-0 up and playing pretty well. Despite grabbing an equalizer we continued to plough on in the same manner as before and worked hard to try to win every first and second ball and set up a decent attack from which to score. We went into half time looking fairly comfortable but we knew that Chilworth were certainly capable of upping their game and that they would attack us hard in the second half. With no substitutes available we had no option other than to continue with the same 11 as in the first half.

I am thinking of writing a paragraph that I can just paste in to cover the start of virtually every second half of every Oatlands game. We didn't even turn up in the second half. We were under pressure from the moment that the second half kicked off to the moment it ended. Chilworth were in front 5 minutes in to the half and things really went down hill from there.

We were kicking into the wind second half and every time their keeper kicked it out it caused mayhem at the back, but Harps and the defence did well to deal with the trouble. Chris commanded the area superbly well (something he has clearly learned from me!) and Furn and Nigel either cleared or intelligently dealt with the ball. However anything that was cleared by Harps was left virtually uncontested by our midfield and attack. The midfield were on occasions so far up the pitch that there was no hope of Chris ever getting the ball near them and on the rare occasions that Chris did manage to find the super human strength to kick it that far, a half hearted or no attempt was made to win the ball. The huge gap that had opened up between our midfield and unprotected defence was filled by the entire Chilworth midfield which made for wave after wave of attacks.

Chilworth put the game beyond doubt with an excellent left footed free kick just out side the box which was pretty much unstoppable. This was after Dom had asked the ref for his opinion on whether he thought the preceding foul might have been inside the box!!!

Going forward we were poor and our tactics were generally kick and run football, we either lost possession holding on to the ball for too long or kicked it away due to a lack of composure. We did create one good chance; a great left footed cross field ball found Djimi who was unlucky after having beaten the quickly advancing Chilworth keeper.

For the last ten minutes we were all over the place with little or no shape. A very poor second half performance culminated in a 1-3 defeat.

Overall it was poor. The score was 1-3 but that didn't really reflect the game, Chilworth hit the woodwork 4 or 5 times and but for some atrocious finishing should have scored 5 more in the second half. As I said before there were some bright spots Mike showed a lot of promise despite taking numerous blows in the groin region and it was great to see Chris Ewan back in an Oatlands shirt earning his 50 th Cap for the Club. A big thanks to Jordy, who refereed the game and was pretty much anonymous throughout.

I think we need to put this one behind us, get ourselves down to training and Goulash's Tuesday running club and focus on our next match in 2 weeks time against old foes Hambledon in the Cup. Despite another poor result, things should start to look up again soon and competition for places will increase with the returns of Steve Goulash, Alejandro Sanz and Steve Sweeting, Peewee and Sam Ahern all expected in the next few weeks. Anyone wanting to join Steve Goulash and Djimi for a running session should contact Djimi or Goulash – rumour has it they have even convinced Rob Hunter to attend.